They lied, right? When they said it would get it easier? I know that’s what it feels like but I swear in my soul it does get better. It doesn’t feel like that right now–but trust me, Sis, it does. Keep your head up, stay focused. Stop worrying about all the things that truthfully have nothing to do with you. Live in your own truth. And let others live in theirs–even if their truth is a different version of reality.
The adults in your life are children. They are grown children who never healed from their own pain. And now it affects you and your safety–your sanity. Because of their own issues amongst each other, those who are supposed to be protecting you and lifting you up are putting you at risk and causing you harm. You’re anxious all the time and have spent so many nights awake and afraid to go to sleep. You’ve lost all faith in God, people, and family. You trust no one. Because there hasn’t been a single person who has taken the time to hear your voice.
“Relax, be a kid,” they say. But somehow you find yourself homeless at 17 working full time and playing sports to keep sane in addition to taking care of your younger cousin. Where is the time to be a kid? When is there time to be a kid when your Grandmother is so brainwashed by her own daughter and nothing you can say as a “child” can wake her from her slumber?
Young queen, my heart cries for you. I see the way you cry yourself to sleep each night trying to figure out why your life has turned out this way. But, it’s not for you to understand right now. All this pain–all this darkness–it will end. In the most glorious way. After all, by this time you’ve figured out that you’re a Phoenix. You write about it in the poetry you write during class to keep the demons in your head at bay. You feel that Fire? It’s inside you. It’s been burning since you were young and the more you endure, the bigger the Flames get. Don’t give in to it—let them drive you to be stronger and better than you were yesterday. Rise up and speak your mind. You deserve to be heard. People need to hear what you have to say because what you have to say is valuable. You are worthy.
You work so hard and give so much. I know it feels like you have nothing to show for it—but you are kind and thoughtful. You give because it’s who you are and not because you expect something in return. But do not give so much of yourself so that others can take advantage—because they will try. Always remember that you are of the utmost importance. You cannot give from an empty cup. Make yourself your first priority.
Take all the time you need to figure out what it is that you value. Take your time in discovering the woman you are becoming. You are beautiful. In your own way. Not in the “you look just like your mother”way. You are your own person. And you deserve to shine. Find your passion—find what gives you joy and do more that. Let everything else burn.